Christmas eve…

I don’t know how exactly it’s been happening, but over the past few months a distinct feeling of ‘uneasiness’ has crept into my thoughts like a thief, slowly but surely stealing my sense of ‘well being’ piece by piece, and leaving me feeling increasingly distant, unattached, cold.

“What has been waiting for me in my dreams all these years?”

“Behind the door in your dreams is the dark chaos of your own soul, a reminder of what we are ‘all’ capable of if left unchecked, it is the opposing force to the light of harmony, and the tension between the two creates the energy that drives ‘all sentient life’ forward.”

I have been having these ‘night visitations’ three or four times a year for as long as I can remember.  Each time waking up bathed in sweat, crying in terror and feeling lucky I survived another attack from this evil, malevolent entity.  His answer brings a profound sense of relief as the realisation settles in that it was simply me, frightening myself, nothing more, nothing less…  I have no more questions now, I just want to go home.

“Can this end now please” I ask.

“Yes, but I have one last thing to share with you…”

He turns, looks directly at me, and the universe itself seems to hold its breath before he finally speaks.

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you ask for’, are they the things you actually want?”

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you want’, for are they the things you actually need?”

“Finally, consider the importance of ‘what you actually need’, for this is where you will find true, and lasting happiness…”

Even if all of this is just a crazy dream and I wake up and the memories slowly fade away like most of them do.  Right here, right now, I can’t help but have a deep feeling of empathy with this ‘angel’ before me… “Lucifer, before this ends I’d like to say… I’d like to say thank you.”  I’m not sure if its my imagination, but he ‘almost’ seems to smile as everything before me slowly disappears like mist, revealing what I used to consider to be ‘the real world’ behind it…

Anna stirs from her sleep, looks at me and says “You had that dream again?…”

“What happens when you die?”

“A guide will come at the moment of transition, when a soul is balanced between mortality and death.  For most, this will take the form of a loved one.  Those at the gates of ‘Oblivion’ will be taken by what humanity call the ‘Grim Reaper’ or as you now know it, a ‘Feeder’.  But there is a much greater truth to be found within your question, and it must be understood that death has two paths.  For those moving towards harmony, it is simply the transition of an ‘eternal soul’ into pure energy.  Another step closer to god.  For those about to enter Hell, it means they no longer have the capacity the evolve and ‘death’ truly is, the end.”

“Tell me about Angels”

“Angels are the voice of god, we are there to guide those on the ‘Path of Souls’ when they are ready to listen.”

“And how much pain will I need to endure before I achieve this ‘perfect’ harmony?”

“It takes as long as the time required for it to happen, for the destination is defined by the journey towards it.”

“But how is this possible when life is so short.” I ask.

“It is not possible in ‘one’ mortal lifetime.”

“Are you talking about reincarnation?”

“Yes” he says “For a soul cannot ‘evolve’ whilst it is contained within its mortal frame.  It must return to a state of ‘pure energy’ for its vibration to change before once again entering into the cycle of, ‘mortality’, ‘experience’, and ‘evolution’, for without this, all of the souls in creation would stay at the most basic level of development without any possibility of evolution, without any possibility of moving closer to the creator.”

“Does this happen to all souls.  Am ‘I’ reincarnated?”

“All souls are reborn in different forms until they are ready for the transcendence.”

“Will I at any point remember my past lives?”

“No experience or knowledge is lost.  The nearer you get to god, the more you will ‘consciously’ remember.”

I stop momentarily to try to absorb this fundamental change to my picture of life and death, but here, in the presence of god, I know that my life will never be the same, he was right.  Everything Lucifer is telling me does ‘as he says’, quite simply ‘ring true’.

“Why didn’t god simply create a universe in harmony?” I ask. Why have so much pain and suffering in the world. Why have so much hate and anger. Why must the innocent suffer?”

“If you have never cried tears of the deepest sorrow then you will never cry tears of overwhelming happiness.  If your greatest needs have never been met then you will never appreciative being without need.  Gods greatest gift to life is the darkness of pain, suffering and want, for it provides a measure to gauge ones happiness against, and the motivation necessary to drive all living things towards the light of harmony.”

…white

Everything I love, all of my happiness and joy, everything I wanted, needed and searched for are all here.  I look around at the myriad souls floating in this ‘white space’, each of us connected by an almost invisible umbilical chord to the creator. If god was the sun we’d be vaporised at this distance, but there is no danger here, only the feeling that an extremely long and weary journey has ended and we are finally… home.

“Everything and everyone is connected.” he says “We are all part of the same creation, made of the same basic material, working towards the same goal.  The creation of harmony within oneself, ones life and the world we live in, for harmony is the only true path to god and it must start from within before it can be expressed, and have an effect on the outside world.  It is the ‘pure’ vibration harmony produces that moves us closer to the creator and it is this vibration that will ultimately bring about your transcendence.”

“What is the meaning of life?”

He smiles then says “I’ll show you, look up.”

With memories of hell still fresh in my mind, my heart sinks as I look upwards.  The sky goes black, pitch black.  “There’s nothing up there” I say.

“Before the beginning, there was only god, a single sentient entity, nothing else” is his response.  Then the same someone or something I can’t see whispers “Let there be light.”

The sky explodes and I sit there with Lucifer mesmerised, watching the light of creation change down through the spectrum as it cools then collect into clusters that slowly start to turn.

“The first law of existence is all matter must be organised in harmonious structure,” He says ” it is the force that holds creation together, and the composition of the entity you know as god can be considered to be the perfect harmonious structure.”

The clusters get bigger and I watch as ‘stars’ start to form in their centres.  The darkness is returning now but it’s not empty anymore…

“But there is more to life than its composition” he continues, “Free will is the definition of sentient life, and all sentient life ‘without exception’ needs sustenance in the form of energy to maintain its structure and stimulation to maintain its mind” he tells me as little points of golden light start to appear ‘everywhere’.  Instinctively I know they are from the soul of the creator and I watch as they too, gently fall into the still forming stars, seeding the universe with the potential to create life itself.

“God created this reality and breathed life into it with the ability to develop, evolve and transcend to join the creator ‘as an equal’.  Before the beginning there was only god.  At the end of the beginning, god will no longer be alone.”

As much as I try to reject his answer, I just can’t.  I know he’s not lying but still have to ask… “how do I know you are telling me the truth?”

“Truth has a special energy, and when spoken, the words vibrate in perfect harmony with each other.  All souls born into this world have th….”

“…the ability to hear, yes I know you’ve already told me that…. But look why me why am I the one you are telling this to?”

“Because you are lis….”

“…Yes I know, because I am listening…  Are there others, others like me?”

“There has been many over time, and there will be more as the ‘conscious awakening’ continues to spread throughout your race.  When enough reach this level of development an evolutionary leap will bring about the transcendence.”

The weight of the knowledge is starting to bear heavy on me but I’ve come too far to turn back now.  “Is it possible for me to see… this entity… this creator?” I ask him.

“Yes.” he replies. I take a long last look at the wonder of creation and breath in deeply as everything around me fades away to…

“Can you show me heaven?”

“You are already in it, for heaven is the expression of gods thoughts made real.  Existence itself is part of gods will.”

I don’t know what else to do…

I slowly step back to allow him to get up, he dusts himself down, straightens his clothes, looks at me and says “Well.”
Still in deep in shock I reply “Well what?”
“Now that we’ve got that out of the way shall we, begin?” he asks.
“Begin what!” I say getting more and more confused by the fact that I’m still in one piece and not burning or being torn apart by demons.
“Talking” he replies.

‘Stunned’ can now be added to the list of things I’m feeling right now.  I take a deep breath and try to slow my thoughts down…

“What do you want?” I ask him.
“Nothing” he says.
“Why are you here” I ask.
“Because  this is the time you have chosen.”