“What has been waiting for me in my dreams all these years?”

“Behind the door in your dreams is the dark chaos of your own soul, a reminder of what we are ‘all’ capable of if left unchecked, it is the opposing force to the light of harmony, and the tension between the two creates the energy that drives ‘all sentient life’ forward.”

I have been having these ‘night visitations’ three or four times a year for as long as I can remember.  Each time waking up bathed in sweat, crying in terror and feeling lucky I survived another attack from this evil, malevolent entity.  His answer brings a profound sense of relief as the realisation settles in that it was simply me, frightening myself, nothing more, nothing less…  I have no more questions now, I just want to go home.

“Can this end now please” I ask.

“Yes, but I have one last thing to share with you…”

He turns, looks directly at me, and the universe itself seems to hold its breath before he finally speaks.

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you ask for’, are they the things you actually want?”

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you want’, for are they the things you actually need?”

“Finally, consider the importance of ‘what you actually need’, for this is where you will find true, and lasting happiness…”

Even if all of this is just a crazy dream and I wake up and the memories slowly fade away like most of them do.  Right here, right now, I can’t help but have a deep feeling of empathy with this ‘angel’ before me… “Lucifer, before this ends I’d like to say… I’d like to say thank you.”  I’m not sure if its my imagination, but he ‘almost’ seems to smile as everything before me slowly disappears like mist, revealing what I used to consider to be ‘the real world’ behind it…

Anna stirs from her sleep, looks at me and says “You had that dream again?…”

“How is it possible after being shown the ‘truth’ of the suffering you have caused others to be so untouched and unconcerned?”

I ask… “What happens to make people like this?”

“Extreme emotion, be it positive or negative ‘needs to be experience’ to allow souls to define and develop themselves. Those who lack the skills or willingness to cultivate a positive life experience turn to the destructive power of extreme negative emotional experiences to satisfy this need.  Once this happens, the only way to justify the suffering ‘they’ inflict on others is by transferring the blame away from themselves.  The circle of lies is cold comfort, but comfort non the less.

“Are we born with original sin?”

“Original sin is a human concept used by the ‘righteous’ to control the innocent.  Real sin are the wars the ‘righteous’ enforce on the masses.  Real sin is the mutilation and abuse of children by the ‘righteous’ in the name of religion.  Real sin is the belief of the ‘righteous’ that only they hold the truth. The evil committed by the ‘righteous’ in the name of god is ‘real sin’, and at the final reckoning they ‘will’ face the truth and consequences of their own actions.  For I am the witness who will show them the truth of what ‘they’ have done to others.”

His words take my thoughts back to my fathers funeral.  I remember wanting to scream my anger at the priest for asking the congregation to pray forgiveness of him for his sins, and for his soul’s entry into heaven.  My father was a good man, and had done ‘nothing’ that needed forgiving.  That was the day I lost my religion.  That was the day I found my faith.  I no longer had any time for the men who told me my children were tainted with the sins of Adam and Eve.  I had learned to listen to my heart, and quite simply, try my best to do the right thing.