“What has been waiting for me in my dreams all these years?”

“Behind the door in your dreams is the dark chaos of your own soul, a reminder of what we are ‘all’ capable of if left unchecked, it is the opposing force to the light of harmony, and the tension between the two creates the energy that drives ‘all sentient life’ forward.”

I have been having these ‘night visitations’ three or four times a year for as long as I can remember.  Each time waking up bathed in sweat, crying in terror and feeling lucky I survived another attack from this evil, malevolent entity.  His answer brings a profound sense of relief as the realisation settles in that it was simply me, frightening myself, nothing more, nothing less…  I have no more questions now, I just want to go home.

“Can this end now please” I ask.

“Yes, but I have one last thing to share with you…”

He turns, looks directly at me, and the universe itself seems to hold its breath before he finally speaks.

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you ask for’, are they the things you actually want?”

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you want’, for are they the things you actually need?”

“Finally, consider the importance of ‘what you actually need’, for this is where you will find true, and lasting happiness…”

Even if all of this is just a crazy dream and I wake up and the memories slowly fade away like most of them do.  Right here, right now, I can’t help but have a deep feeling of empathy with this ‘angel’ before me… “Lucifer, before this ends I’d like to say… I’d like to say thank you.”  I’m not sure if its my imagination, but he ‘almost’ seems to smile as everything before me slowly disappears like mist, revealing what I used to consider to be ‘the real world’ behind it…

Anna stirs from her sleep, looks at me and says “You had that dream again?…”

“What happens when you die?”

“A guide will come at the moment of transition, when a soul is balanced between mortality and death.  For most, this will take the form of a loved one.  Those at the gates of ‘Oblivion’ will be taken by what humanity call the ‘Grim Reaper’ or as you now know it, a ‘Feeder’.  But there is a much greater truth to be found within your question, and it must be understood that death has two paths.  For those moving towards harmony, it is simply the transition of an ‘eternal soul’ into pure energy.  Another step closer to god.  For those about to enter Hell, it means they no longer have the capacity the evolve and ‘death’ truly is, the end.”

“Does this mean those seemly ‘gifted’ amongst us are in reality, souls more in harmony with the universe?”

“All souls are ‘born gifted’ with the same capacity to learn, develop, realise their own potential, and ultimately ‘transcend’, but in answer to your question, yes, even though the ‘mortal vessel’ is the same, the souls contain within are all at different levels of development.”

As persuasive as his answers are the concept of reincarnation makes me uncomfortable and is not something I want to deal with right now.  I need to change this line of thought…

…what purpose does the cycle of ‘life and death serve?”

“For a soul to evolve to its highest potential it must be given the opportunity to experience, learn and develop to its fullest ability. ‘flesh and blood’ is the vessel which allows it to repeatedly enter into ‘mortality’, and ‘death’ is the process of gradual transformation towards an evolutionary leap, where the body can longer contain the essence of the soul and it returns to its original state of ‘pure energy’, but now with a highly developed ‘character and intelligence’ as it continues on its journey towards ‘transcendence’, towards ‘god’.”

…grey

We are in an infinite expanse of greyness that is neither light nor dark, just, grey… and after the indescribably beautiful feeling of ‘completeness’ I had in the presence of the creator, here if anything, I only feel a little bit sleepy which is odd, as up to now I’ve never felt so… energised… alert… alive even.  Its a shame I’m asleep, or, actually I don’t know, if it’s just my body that’s asleep or… best not think too hard about that…  “Where are we?”

“This place of stillness is where souls wait, souls change.”

“Souls, what sou…”  and then they slowly appear… The little points of golden light I had seen at the start of creation, stretching out as far as the eye can see, and more than I could possibly hope to count.  Some are just golden, but others contain people, and things that look kind of… animal… alien.

“The ‘golden’ are new life waiting to start their journey, the others walk ‘the path of souls’.” He says.

I fall quiet watching the souls slowly drift past, and as I look inside the orbs containing human forms, I see their features changing, appearing to almost cycle through the various faces the soul wore at each stage of its mortal time.  Its unnerving to  watch, but I just can’t tear my eyes away as the expression on each face tells a story… then I notice something that makes my blood run cold with fear.

There is an orb containing a human shape, but unlike the rest of the souls in this.. grey place, it is awake but seemingly unaware of its surroundings or the ‘black’ formless shapes that are crawling over its outer surface peering into the orb, and watching its every move. “What are they” I say in a low voice.

“They are the ‘Feeders’ that take those who chose the path of disharmonic hatred into the darkness of hell.”

More ‘Feeders’ are gathering now, slowly but surely working together to cover the orb.  “Is there no hope of redemption for these ‘souls’, is there no way they can put right, the wrong they have done.” I ask anxiously.

“There are many crossroads along the way, where a clear decision has to be made on which path to choose.  But the gift of ‘free will’ means the responsibility for these decisions and the consequences that follow, rest with the soul itself, and a soul’s decision to walk towards the light of god must be based upon its desire to achieve harmony with its world, not fear of retribution for its actions.  For those who choose to blind themselves to the pain and suffering they inflict on others without any conscious feelings of empathy for their victims or remorse for their actions, there can be no redemption.  For it is only with the ‘truth’ that redemption can be found, and only complete acceptance of the ‘truth’ can set them free.”

I watch as the orb slowly floats away with the light of the soul contained within almost smothered now by the ‘Feeders’.  Its time here is almost over and I can’t help feeling sorry for it, but if this is a ‘direct’ result of the suffering it has caused others.  Then so be it…

I’m disturbed by what I’ve witnessed and by the fact I’m feeling some twisted kind of satisfaction that the evil living amongst us get rewarded in this way…

“Do we have a certain fate or destiny that we can, or need to fulfil during the course of our time?”

“The concept of ‘destiny’ is closely linked to the concept of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ luck.  Neither exist and are the words people use to inspire themselves on to greatness, or excuse themselves for failure.  Humanity still has to rid itself of uncertainness in its own abilities, feelings of unworthiness in its place as the dominate species on earth, and of the belief that it is living on borrowed time, just waiting for extinction.

The truth is this type of doubt becomes a self fulfilling prophecy making the ‘hard to do’, ‘harder to do’, and absolves one of failure through lack of proper preparation or action.  Perversely it also dulls the sense of achievement that one truly deserves when they succeed because of a feeling ‘luck was on their side’ this time.  The decisions an individual makes at the end of the day are their ‘own’ decisions, and the effects of those choices are a result of the situation at that moment in time without any form of ‘divine intervention’ positive or negative.”

Its odd, but everything I’m being told is strangely liberating, and for the first time in my life I’m starting to feel that my free will is not like a leaf being blown around in the wind.  I take a few minutes to absorb what’s been said then consider my next question.  “So where do souls go when they return to a state of pure energy,” I finally ask.

“There is a place in creation halfway between god and the realm of mortality.  I’ll show you…”

“And how much pain will I need to endure before I achieve this ‘perfect’ harmony?”

“It takes as long as the time required for it to happen, for the destination is defined by the journey towards it.”

“But how is this possible when life is so short.” I ask.

“It is not possible in ‘one’ mortal lifetime.”

“Are you talking about reincarnation?”

“Yes” he says “For a soul cannot ‘evolve’ whilst it is contained within its mortal frame.  It must return to a state of ‘pure energy’ for its vibration to change before once again entering into the cycle of, ‘mortality’, ‘experience’, and ‘evolution’, for without this, all of the souls in creation would stay at the most basic level of development without any possibility of evolution, without any possibility of moving closer to the creator.”

“Does this happen to all souls.  Am ‘I’ reincarnated?”

“All souls are reborn in different forms until they are ready for the transcendence.”

“Will I at any point remember my past lives?”

“No experience or knowledge is lost.  The nearer you get to god, the more you will ‘consciously’ remember.”

I stop momentarily to try to absorb this fundamental change to my picture of life and death, but here, in the presence of god, I know that my life will never be the same, he was right.  Everything Lucifer is telling me does ‘as he says’, quite simply ‘ring true’.

“Why didn’t god simply create a universe in harmony?” I ask. Why have so much pain and suffering in the world. Why have so much hate and anger. Why must the innocent suffer?”

“If you have never cried tears of the deepest sorrow then you will never cry tears of overwhelming happiness.  If your greatest needs have never been met then you will never appreciative being without need.  Gods greatest gift to life is the darkness of pain, suffering and want, for it provides a measure to gauge ones happiness against, and the motivation necessary to drive all living things towards the light of harmony.”

“What is the meaning of life?”

He smiles then says “I’ll show you, look up.”

With memories of hell still fresh in my mind, my heart sinks as I look upwards.  The sky goes black, pitch black.  “There’s nothing up there” I say.

“Before the beginning, there was only god, a single sentient entity, nothing else” is his response.  Then the same someone or something I can’t see whispers “Let there be light.”

The sky explodes and I sit there with Lucifer mesmerised, watching the light of creation change down through the spectrum as it cools then collect into clusters that slowly start to turn.

“The first law of existence is all matter must be organised in harmonious structure,” He says ” it is the force that holds creation together, and the composition of the entity you know as god can be considered to be the perfect harmonious structure.”

The clusters get bigger and I watch as ‘stars’ start to form in their centres.  The darkness is returning now but it’s not empty anymore…

“But there is more to life than its composition” he continues, “Free will is the definition of sentient life, and all sentient life ‘without exception’ needs sustenance in the form of energy to maintain its structure and stimulation to maintain its mind” he tells me as little points of golden light start to appear ‘everywhere’.  Instinctively I know they are from the soul of the creator and I watch as they too, gently fall into the still forming stars, seeding the universe with the potential to create life itself.

“God created this reality and breathed life into it with the ability to develop, evolve and transcend to join the creator ‘as an equal’.  Before the beginning there was only god.  At the end of the beginning, god will no longer be alone.”

As much as I try to reject his answer, I just can’t.  I know he’s not lying but still have to ask… “how do I know you are telling me the truth?”

“Truth has a special energy, and when spoken, the words vibrate in perfect harmony with each other.  All souls born into this world have th….”

“…the ability to hear, yes I know you’ve already told me that…. But look why me why am I the one you are telling this to?”

“Because you are lis….”

“…Yes I know, because I am listening…  Are there others, others like me?”

“There has been many over time, and there will be more as the ‘conscious awakening’ continues to spread throughout your race.  When enough reach this level of development an evolutionary leap will bring about the transcendence.”

The weight of the knowledge is starting to bear heavy on me but I’ve come too far to turn back now.  “Is it possible for me to see… this entity… this creator?” I ask him.

“Yes.” he replies. I take a long last look at the wonder of creation and breath in deeply as everything around me fades away to…

“Can you show me heaven?”

“You are already in it, for heaven is the expression of gods thoughts made real.  Existence itself is part of gods will.”