“What has been waiting for me in my dreams all these years?”

“Behind the door in your dreams is the dark chaos of your own soul, a reminder of what we are ‘all’ capable of if left unchecked, it is the opposing force to the light of harmony, and the tension between the two creates the energy that drives ‘all sentient life’ forward.”

I have been having these ‘night visitations’ three or four times a year for as long as I can remember.  Each time waking up bathed in sweat, crying in terror and feeling lucky I survived another attack from this evil, malevolent entity.  His answer brings a profound sense of relief as the realisation settles in that it was simply me, frightening myself, nothing more, nothing less…  I have no more questions now, I just want to go home.

“Can this end now please” I ask.

“Yes, but I have one last thing to share with you…”

He turns, looks directly at me, and the universe itself seems to hold its breath before he finally speaks.

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you ask for’, are they the things you actually want?”

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you want’, for are they the things you actually need?”

“Finally, consider the importance of ‘what you actually need’, for this is where you will find true, and lasting happiness…”

Even if all of this is just a crazy dream and I wake up and the memories slowly fade away like most of them do.  Right here, right now, I can’t help but have a deep feeling of empathy with this ‘angel’ before me… “Lucifer, before this ends I’d like to say… I’d like to say thank you.”  I’m not sure if its my imagination, but he ‘almost’ seems to smile as everything before me slowly disappears like mist, revealing what I used to consider to be ‘the real world’ behind it…

Anna stirs from her sleep, looks at me and says “You had that dream again?…”

…what does ‘Lucifer’ get out of all of this?”

Everything goes quiet.  I hear the ‘voice’ again, only this time it’s much clearer, sharper, almost as if it’s closer to me, or maybe I’m closer to it…

…”Ask not what Lucifer will gain, but instead ask what, through his ‘own choice,’ he has forever sacrificed.  For his ‘love’ and ‘hope’ for the life contained within creation, he forsake his place on the ‘right hand of god’, to spend eternity as a beacon of light to those lost in the darkness on the ‘Path to Oblivion.’  This decision he may reverse at any time but will not, for he knows another must take his place in eternal solitude, far from gods grace.”

The voice fades away and we are alone again.  “I am so… sorry” I say ” I didn’t understand…” He doesn’t reply….

A long time passes before I speak again but I need to understand ‘this’ so ask…

“And what of the search for “perfect harmony…”

…I ask, “Where can we find guidance if not from the scriptures?”

“Guidence comes from within and the search for perfect harmony begins with acceptance of the knowledge that ‘people’ and the beliefs they hold are imperfect.  Herein lies the answer to your question.  For the greater part of perfection in ‘oneself’ is the acceptance of imperfection in ‘others’.” He replies.

I can feel my anger and frustration slowly being drained away by Lucifer’s inescapable ‘ cold hard’ logic and don’t like it so decide to change the subject before he checkmates me. “So what do you want…

…black

The darkness here is cold and complete, with the only illumination being the light of the souls contained within their own personal hell…  Occasionally ‘Feeders’ can be seen as they land on the surface of an orb but beyond that, there is ‘nothing, here but the all pervading sense of sadness and loss.  As much as I don’t want to know the answer I ask him “What do the ‘Feeders’ do with the souls once they are here?”

“Like all sentient life they require food and the ‘life force’ of the souls is their harvest…”

The horror of his words leave me speechless as he continues…

“…even in hell there is order and structure, and everything contained within creation has use.  Here, in ‘death’ these lost souls provide ‘life’ for the ‘Feeders’.”

“Where are we?” I ask.

“It is ‘Oblivion’ at the edge of creation.  A place where gods light is at its weakest”

I don’t want to be here anymore. I never want to come here again… “I want to leave this… place.” I tell him…

…grey

We are in an infinite expanse of greyness that is neither light nor dark, just, grey… and after the indescribably beautiful feeling of ‘completeness’ I had in the presence of the creator, here if anything, I only feel a little bit sleepy which is odd, as up to now I’ve never felt so… energised… alert… alive even.  Its a shame I’m asleep, or, actually I don’t know, if it’s just my body that’s asleep or… best not think too hard about that…  “Where are we?”

“This place of stillness is where souls wait, souls change.”

“Souls, what sou…”  and then they slowly appear… The little points of golden light I had seen at the start of creation, stretching out as far as the eye can see, and more than I could possibly hope to count.  Some are just golden, but others contain people, and things that look kind of… animal… alien.

“The ‘golden’ are new life waiting to start their journey, the others walk ‘the path of souls’.” He says.

I fall quiet watching the souls slowly drift past, and as I look inside the orbs containing human forms, I see their features changing, appearing to almost cycle through the various faces the soul wore at each stage of its mortal time.  Its unnerving to  watch, but I just can’t tear my eyes away as the expression on each face tells a story… then I notice something that makes my blood run cold with fear.

There is an orb containing a human shape, but unlike the rest of the souls in this.. grey place, it is awake but seemingly unaware of its surroundings or the ‘black’ formless shapes that are crawling over its outer surface peering into the orb, and watching its every move. “What are they” I say in a low voice.

“They are the ‘Feeders’ that take those who chose the path of disharmonic hatred into the darkness of hell.”

More ‘Feeders’ are gathering now, slowly but surely working together to cover the orb.  “Is there no hope of redemption for these ‘souls’, is there no way they can put right, the wrong they have done.” I ask anxiously.

“There are many crossroads along the way, where a clear decision has to be made on which path to choose.  But the gift of ‘free will’ means the responsibility for these decisions and the consequences that follow, rest with the soul itself, and a soul’s decision to walk towards the light of god must be based upon its desire to achieve harmony with its world, not fear of retribution for its actions.  For those who choose to blind themselves to the pain and suffering they inflict on others without any conscious feelings of empathy for their victims or remorse for their actions, there can be no redemption.  For it is only with the ‘truth’ that redemption can be found, and only complete acceptance of the ‘truth’ can set them free.”

I watch as the orb slowly floats away with the light of the soul contained within almost smothered now by the ‘Feeders’.  Its time here is almost over and I can’t help feeling sorry for it, but if this is a ‘direct’ result of the suffering it has caused others.  Then so be it…

I’m disturbed by what I’ve witnessed and by the fact I’m feeling some twisted kind of satisfaction that the evil living amongst us get rewarded in this way…

“What is the meaning of life?”

He smiles then says “I’ll show you, look up.”

With memories of hell still fresh in my mind, my heart sinks as I look upwards.  The sky goes black, pitch black.  “There’s nothing up there” I say.

“Before the beginning, there was only god, a single sentient entity, nothing else” is his response.  Then the same someone or something I can’t see whispers “Let there be light.”

The sky explodes and I sit there with Lucifer mesmerised, watching the light of creation change down through the spectrum as it cools then collect into clusters that slowly start to turn.

“The first law of existence is all matter must be organised in harmonious structure,” He says ” it is the force that holds creation together, and the composition of the entity you know as god can be considered to be the perfect harmonious structure.”

The clusters get bigger and I watch as ‘stars’ start to form in their centres.  The darkness is returning now but it’s not empty anymore…

“But there is more to life than its composition” he continues, “Free will is the definition of sentient life, and all sentient life ‘without exception’ needs sustenance in the form of energy to maintain its structure and stimulation to maintain its mind” he tells me as little points of golden light start to appear ‘everywhere’.  Instinctively I know they are from the soul of the creator and I watch as they too, gently fall into the still forming stars, seeding the universe with the potential to create life itself.

“God created this reality and breathed life into it with the ability to develop, evolve and transcend to join the creator ‘as an equal’.  Before the beginning there was only god.  At the end of the beginning, god will no longer be alone.”

As much as I try to reject his answer, I just can’t.  I know he’s not lying but still have to ask… “how do I know you are telling me the truth?”

“Truth has a special energy, and when spoken, the words vibrate in perfect harmony with each other.  All souls born into this world have th….”

“…the ability to hear, yes I know you’ve already told me that…. But look why me why am I the one you are telling this to?”

“Because you are lis….”

“…Yes I know, because I am listening…  Are there others, others like me?”

“There has been many over time, and there will be more as the ‘conscious awakening’ continues to spread throughout your race.  When enough reach this level of development an evolutionary leap will bring about the transcendence.”

The weight of the knowledge is starting to bear heavy on me but I’ve come too far to turn back now.  “Is it possible for me to see… this entity… this creator?” I ask him.

“Yes.” he replies. I take a long last look at the wonder of creation and breath in deeply as everything around me fades away to…

“I am the witness to the evil that men commit” he replies…

“At the final reckoning all men must face the truth and consequences of their own actions.  My presence is alway felt by the people who, by their direct, indirect or lack of action cause pain, distress and suffering to others.  It is men who commit evil, not I.  I am the witness who must eternally suffer watching the pain of others.  I am the witness who is condemned by all as being the cause.  I am the witness who will show you the truth of what you have done to others.”

His words completely disarm me.  And as much as much as I try not to, my fear has been replaced by a deep sadness for the unimaginable suffering of the creature before me…

I don’t know what else to do…

I slowly step back to allow him to get up, he dusts himself down, straightens his clothes, looks at me and says “Well.”
Still in deep in shock I reply “Well what?”
“Now that we’ve got that out of the way shall we, begin?” he asks.
“Begin what!” I say getting more and more confused by the fact that I’m still in one piece and not burning or being torn apart by demons.
“Talking” he replies.

‘Stunned’ can now be added to the list of things I’m feeling right now.  I take a deep breath and try to slow my thoughts down…

“What do you want?” I ask him.
“Nothing” he says.
“Why are you here” I ask.
“Because  this is the time you have chosen.”

Behind the door is a very ordinary looking man…

He looks at me and smiles.  I know without any doubt who it is but am confused that I’m not paralysed with fear, and appear to have full control over my actions in this… ‘dream’.

He tries to talk.  I hit him hard in the face and he drops to the ground.  I stand there looking at him and as he tries to get up and I knock him down again.
He takes a tissue out to wipe the blood from his face then looks at me and says “May I get up now please?”