Christmas eve…

I don’t know how exactly it’s been happening, but over the past few months a distinct feeling of ‘uneasiness’ has crept into my thoughts like a thief, slowly but surely stealing my sense of ‘well being’ piece by piece, and leaving me feeling increasingly distant, unattached, cold.

One month later…

I remember everything like it was yesterday and the experience has profoundly changed me.  The sun shines brighter, water tastes sweeter, the air smells cleaner, and with a sense of ‘my place’ in the great scheme of things, everything ‘simply’ makes more sense.  I’ve shared a few of the things I experienced with a few ‘very close friends’ but still feel a little bit reticent to talk to anyone about it in any depth.  My ‘new’ view of the world is ‘all encompassing’ and has affected every aspect of my life.  I’m amazed at how easy it is to interact with other people now and quite simply, ‘get things done’.  I seem to be able to read their intentions ‘despite’ what they might actually be saying and it just saves so much time…  I’ve also stopped feeling like I haven’t ‘done’, or ‘achieved’ enough in my life.  I feel good, I feel strong, and I want to feel this way for the rest of my life…

“What has been waiting for me in my dreams all these years?”

“Behind the door in your dreams is the dark chaos of your own soul, a reminder of what we are ‘all’ capable of if left unchecked, it is the opposing force to the light of harmony, and the tension between the two creates the energy that drives ‘all sentient life’ forward.”

I have been having these ‘night visitations’ three or four times a year for as long as I can remember.  Each time waking up bathed in sweat, crying in terror and feeling lucky I survived another attack from this evil, malevolent entity.  His answer brings a profound sense of relief as the realisation settles in that it was simply me, frightening myself, nothing more, nothing less…  I have no more questions now, I just want to go home.

“Can this end now please” I ask.

“Yes, but I have one last thing to share with you…”

He turns, looks directly at me, and the universe itself seems to hold its breath before he finally speaks.

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you ask for’, are they the things you actually want?”

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you want’, for are they the things you actually need?”

“Finally, consider the importance of ‘what you actually need’, for this is where you will find true, and lasting happiness…”

Even if all of this is just a crazy dream and I wake up and the memories slowly fade away like most of them do.  Right here, right now, I can’t help but have a deep feeling of empathy with this ‘angel’ before me… “Lucifer, before this ends I’d like to say… I’d like to say thank you.”  I’m not sure if its my imagination, but he ‘almost’ seems to smile as everything before me slowly disappears like mist, revealing what I used to consider to be ‘the real world’ behind it…

Anna stirs from her sleep, looks at me and says “You had that dream again?…”

“How do we develop harmony within ourselves?”

“There are three elements a soul can use to help guide the development of harmony within itself and its environment.  The first is ‘empathy’ with others and their needs.  The second is ‘willingness’ to adapt to each unique situation.  The third is ‘motivation’ in continually working to develop and improve itself.  These ‘key elements’ are in plain sight, for ‘all souls’ to see if they look with uncluttered thoughts and an open heart, but in order to reap the ‘greatest rewards’ from their use, a ‘soul’ needs to understand they must be applied with simplicity of thought, interpretation and action.”

I only have one last question left.  I’ve been asking it most of my life, but now I actually have the opportunity to hear the answer, my fear of his reply makes me hesitant to ask…

“Does this mean those seemly ‘gifted’ amongst us are in reality, souls more in harmony with the universe?”

“All souls are ‘born gifted’ with the same capacity to learn, develop, realise their own potential, and ultimately ‘transcend’, but in answer to your question, yes, even though the ‘mortal vessel’ is the same, the souls contain within are all at different levels of development.”

As persuasive as his answers are the concept of reincarnation makes me uncomfortable and is not something I want to deal with right now.  I need to change this line of thought…

…what purpose does the cycle of ‘life and death serve?”

“For a soul to evolve to its highest potential it must be given the opportunity to experience, learn and develop to its fullest ability. ‘flesh and blood’ is the vessel which allows it to repeatedly enter into ‘mortality’, and ‘death’ is the process of gradual transformation towards an evolutionary leap, where the body can longer contain the essence of the soul and it returns to its original state of ‘pure energy’, but now with a highly developed ‘character and intelligence’ as it continues on its journey towards ‘transcendence’, towards ‘god’.”

“Do we have a certain fate or destiny that we can, or need to fulfil during the course of our time?”

“The concept of ‘destiny’ is closely linked to the concept of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ luck.  Neither exist and are the words people use to inspire themselves on to greatness, or excuse themselves for failure.  Humanity still has to rid itself of uncertainness in its own abilities, feelings of unworthiness in its place as the dominate species on earth, and of the belief that it is living on borrowed time, just waiting for extinction.

The truth is this type of doubt becomes a self fulfilling prophecy making the ‘hard to do’, ‘harder to do’, and absolves one of failure through lack of proper preparation or action.  Perversely it also dulls the sense of achievement that one truly deserves when they succeed because of a feeling ‘luck was on their side’ this time.  The decisions an individual makes at the end of the day are their ‘own’ decisions, and the effects of those choices are a result of the situation at that moment in time without any form of ‘divine intervention’ positive or negative.”

Its odd, but everything I’m being told is strangely liberating, and for the first time in my life I’m starting to feel that my free will is not like a leaf being blown around in the wind.  I take a few minutes to absorb what’s been said then consider my next question.  “So where do souls go when they return to a state of pure energy,” I finally ask.

“There is a place in creation halfway between god and the realm of mortality.  I’ll show you…”