Christmas eve…

I don’t know how exactly it’s been happening, but over the past few months a distinct feeling of ‘uneasiness’ has crept into my thoughts like a thief, slowly but surely stealing my sense of ‘well being’ piece by piece, and leaving me feeling increasingly distant, unattached, cold.

“What has been waiting for me in my dreams all these years?”

“Behind the door in your dreams is the dark chaos of your own soul, a reminder of what we are ‘all’ capable of if left unchecked, it is the opposing force to the light of harmony, and the tension between the two creates the energy that drives ‘all sentient life’ forward.”

I have been having these ‘night visitations’ three or four times a year for as long as I can remember.  Each time waking up bathed in sweat, crying in terror and feeling lucky I survived another attack from this evil, malevolent entity.  His answer brings a profound sense of relief as the realisation settles in that it was simply me, frightening myself, nothing more, nothing less…  I have no more questions now, I just want to go home.

“Can this end now please” I ask.

“Yes, but I have one last thing to share with you…”

He turns, looks directly at me, and the universe itself seems to hold its breath before he finally speaks.

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you ask for’, are they the things you actually want?”

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you want’, for are they the things you actually need?”

“Finally, consider the importance of ‘what you actually need’, for this is where you will find true, and lasting happiness…”

Even if all of this is just a crazy dream and I wake up and the memories slowly fade away like most of them do.  Right here, right now, I can’t help but have a deep feeling of empathy with this ‘angel’ before me… “Lucifer, before this ends I’d like to say… I’d like to say thank you.”  I’m not sure if its my imagination, but he ‘almost’ seems to smile as everything before me slowly disappears like mist, revealing what I used to consider to be ‘the real world’ behind it…

Anna stirs from her sleep, looks at me and says “You had that dream again?…”

“How do we develop harmony within ourselves?”

“There are three elements a soul can use to help guide the development of harmony within itself and its environment.  The first is ‘empathy’ with others and their needs.  The second is ‘willingness’ to adapt to each unique situation.  The third is ‘motivation’ in continually working to develop and improve itself.  These ‘key elements’ are in plain sight, for ‘all souls’ to see if they look with uncluttered thoughts and an open heart, but in order to reap the ‘greatest rewards’ from their use, a ‘soul’ needs to understand they must be applied with simplicity of thought, interpretation and action.”

I only have one last question left.  I’ve been asking it most of my life, but now I actually have the opportunity to hear the answer, my fear of his reply makes me hesitant to ask…

“And Demons”

“Demons exist for those amongst you who ‘choose’ to believe they exist.  In essence the ‘belief itself’ becomes the Demon.”

…what does ‘Lucifer’ get out of all of this?”

Everything goes quiet.  I hear the ‘voice’ again, only this time it’s much clearer, sharper, almost as if it’s closer to me, or maybe I’m closer to it…

…”Ask not what Lucifer will gain, but instead ask what, through his ‘own choice,’ he has forever sacrificed.  For his ‘love’ and ‘hope’ for the life contained within creation, he forsake his place on the ‘right hand of god’, to spend eternity as a beacon of light to those lost in the darkness on the ‘Path to Oblivion.’  This decision he may reverse at any time but will not, for he knows another must take his place in eternal solitude, far from gods grace.”

The voice fades away and we are alone again.  “I am so… sorry” I say ” I didn’t understand…” He doesn’t reply….

A long time passes before I speak again but I need to understand ‘this’ so ask…

“And what of the search for “perfect harmony…”

…I ask, “Where can we find guidance if not from the scriptures?”

“Guidence comes from within and the search for perfect harmony begins with acceptance of the knowledge that ‘people’ and the beliefs they hold are imperfect.  Herein lies the answer to your question.  For the greater part of perfection in ‘oneself’ is the acceptance of imperfection in ‘others’.” He replies.

I can feel my anger and frustration slowly being drained away by Lucifer’s inescapable ‘ cold hard’ logic and don’t like it so decide to change the subject before he checkmates me. “So what do you want…

Daylight…

…is falling down through the trees in the most wondrous way, it looks, almost like water, gently flowing between the leaves… The birds are chattering away in the background and we are back on the hill overlooking the meadow.  It feels good to be somewhere, that at least, looks normal.  “So I’ve seen god, hell and I’m sat here talking to the devil.  Does this mean the Christians have got it right and theirs is the one ‘true’ god?”

“Your mind is translating everything you are experiencing into a something you understand and has meaning for you.  Interpretation of the knowledge gained through ‘enlightenment’ of ones place in creation is subject to the life experiences of the individual, and the society they are in.  This is why the core message of harmony within oneself and the outside world is the foundation of every religious or intellectualised belief system, but the actual method of achieving this harmony is specific to the internal, and external forces that influence each of the ‘enlightened’ ones.”

Ok, I can understand that, so carry on with “Was ‘enlightenment’ of the prophets the inspiration and driving force for the belief systems held by humanity?” I continue.

“It was the inspiration but not the driving force, for the motivation comes from within and is the reason for the experience of ‘enlightenment’.” is his reply.

I know it sounds ridiculous but my christian upbringing makes me ask “Were any of the prophets actually the sons or daughters of god?”

“We are ‘all’ the sons and daughters of god.” he replies.

Ok… I need to get another of my christian beliefs answered so ask…

…grey

We are in an infinite expanse of greyness that is neither light nor dark, just, grey… and after the indescribably beautiful feeling of ‘completeness’ I had in the presence of the creator, here if anything, I only feel a little bit sleepy which is odd, as up to now I’ve never felt so… energised… alert… alive even.  Its a shame I’m asleep, or, actually I don’t know, if it’s just my body that’s asleep or… best not think too hard about that…  “Where are we?”

“This place of stillness is where souls wait, souls change.”

“Souls, what sou…”  and then they slowly appear… The little points of golden light I had seen at the start of creation, stretching out as far as the eye can see, and more than I could possibly hope to count.  Some are just golden, but others contain people, and things that look kind of… animal… alien.

“The ‘golden’ are new life waiting to start their journey, the others walk ‘the path of souls’.” He says.

I fall quiet watching the souls slowly drift past, and as I look inside the orbs containing human forms, I see their features changing, appearing to almost cycle through the various faces the soul wore at each stage of its mortal time.  Its unnerving to  watch, but I just can’t tear my eyes away as the expression on each face tells a story… then I notice something that makes my blood run cold with fear.

There is an orb containing a human shape, but unlike the rest of the souls in this.. grey place, it is awake but seemingly unaware of its surroundings or the ‘black’ formless shapes that are crawling over its outer surface peering into the orb, and watching its every move. “What are they” I say in a low voice.

“They are the ‘Feeders’ that take those who chose the path of disharmonic hatred into the darkness of hell.”

More ‘Feeders’ are gathering now, slowly but surely working together to cover the orb.  “Is there no hope of redemption for these ‘souls’, is there no way they can put right, the wrong they have done.” I ask anxiously.

“There are many crossroads along the way, where a clear decision has to be made on which path to choose.  But the gift of ‘free will’ means the responsibility for these decisions and the consequences that follow, rest with the soul itself, and a soul’s decision to walk towards the light of god must be based upon its desire to achieve harmony with its world, not fear of retribution for its actions.  For those who choose to blind themselves to the pain and suffering they inflict on others without any conscious feelings of empathy for their victims or remorse for their actions, there can be no redemption.  For it is only with the ‘truth’ that redemption can be found, and only complete acceptance of the ‘truth’ can set them free.”

I watch as the orb slowly floats away with the light of the soul contained within almost smothered now by the ‘Feeders’.  Its time here is almost over and I can’t help feeling sorry for it, but if this is a ‘direct’ result of the suffering it has caused others.  Then so be it…

I’m disturbed by what I’ve witnessed and by the fact I’m feeling some twisted kind of satisfaction that the evil living amongst us get rewarded in this way…

“Why didn’t god simply create a universe in harmony?” I ask. Why have so much pain and suffering in the world. Why have so much hate and anger. Why must the innocent suffer?”

“If you have never cried tears of the deepest sorrow then you will never cry tears of overwhelming happiness.  If your greatest needs have never been met then you will never appreciative being without need.  Gods greatest gift to life is the darkness of pain, suffering and want, for it provides a measure to gauge ones happiness against, and the motivation necessary to drive all living things towards the light of harmony.”

…white

Everything I love, all of my happiness and joy, everything I wanted, needed and searched for are all here.  I look around at the myriad souls floating in this ‘white space’, each of us connected by an almost invisible umbilical chord to the creator. If god was the sun we’d be vaporised at this distance, but there is no danger here, only the feeling that an extremely long and weary journey has ended and we are finally… home.

“Everything and everyone is connected.” he says “We are all part of the same creation, made of the same basic material, working towards the same goal.  The creation of harmony within oneself, ones life and the world we live in, for harmony is the only true path to god and it must start from within before it can be expressed, and have an effect on the outside world.  It is the ‘pure’ vibration harmony produces that moves us closer to the creator and it is this vibration that will ultimately bring about your transcendence.”