Christmas eve…

I don’t know how exactly it’s been happening, but over the past few months a distinct feeling of ‘uneasiness’ has crept into my thoughts like a thief, slowly but surely stealing my sense of ‘well being’ piece by piece, and leaving me feeling increasingly distant, unattached, cold.

“What has been waiting for me in my dreams all these years?”

“Behind the door in your dreams is the dark chaos of your own soul, a reminder of what we are ‘all’ capable of if left unchecked, it is the opposing force to the light of harmony, and the tension between the two creates the energy that drives ‘all sentient life’ forward.”

I have been having these ‘night visitations’ three or four times a year for as long as I can remember.  Each time waking up bathed in sweat, crying in terror and feeling lucky I survived another attack from this evil, malevolent entity.  His answer brings a profound sense of relief as the realisation settles in that it was simply me, frightening myself, nothing more, nothing less…  I have no more questions now, I just want to go home.

“Can this end now please” I ask.

“Yes, but I have one last thing to share with you…”

He turns, looks directly at me, and the universe itself seems to hold its breath before he finally speaks.

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you ask for’, are they the things you actually want?”

“Consider the importance of the ‘things you want’, for are they the things you actually need?”

“Finally, consider the importance of ‘what you actually need’, for this is where you will find true, and lasting happiness…”

Even if all of this is just a crazy dream and I wake up and the memories slowly fade away like most of them do.  Right here, right now, I can’t help but have a deep feeling of empathy with this ‘angel’ before me… “Lucifer, before this ends I’d like to say… I’d like to say thank you.”  I’m not sure if its my imagination, but he ‘almost’ seems to smile as everything before me slowly disappears like mist, revealing what I used to consider to be ‘the real world’ behind it…

Anna stirs from her sleep, looks at me and says “You had that dream again?…”

“How do we develop harmony within ourselves?”

“There are three elements a soul can use to help guide the development of harmony within itself and its environment.  The first is ‘empathy’ with others and their needs.  The second is ‘willingness’ to adapt to each unique situation.  The third is ‘motivation’ in continually working to develop and improve itself.  These ‘key elements’ are in plain sight, for ‘all souls’ to see if they look with uncluttered thoughts and an open heart, but in order to reap the ‘greatest rewards’ from their use, a ‘soul’ needs to understand they must be applied with simplicity of thought, interpretation and action.”

I only have one last question left.  I’ve been asking it most of my life, but now I actually have the opportunity to hear the answer, my fear of his reply makes me hesitant to ask…

“What happens when you die?”

“A guide will come at the moment of transition, when a soul is balanced between mortality and death.  For most, this will take the form of a loved one.  Those at the gates of ‘Oblivion’ will be taken by what humanity call the ‘Grim Reaper’ or as you now know it, a ‘Feeder’.  But there is a much greater truth to be found within your question, and it must be understood that death has two paths.  For those moving towards harmony, it is simply the transition of an ‘eternal soul’ into pure energy.  Another step closer to god.  For those about to enter Hell, it means they no longer have the capacity the evolve and ‘death’ truly is, the end.”

“Does all this mean certain ‘traits’ follow us through a constant cycle of life and death?”

“Every soul carries with it the memories and characteristics developed during its ‘own’ mortalities and to a lesser extent, the characteristics of its various ‘mortal parents’ throughout its journey on the ‘Path of Souls’.  These ‘experiences’ are what feed the growth and development of its evolution, and the knowledge it acquires on the journey is never lost.  It is only a question of how much a soul can ‘subconsciously’ remember in each mortal cycle.  The more ‘harmonic’ the soul, the greater its ability to use the skills developed in previous cycles.”

His words remind me of an experiment I’d read about, where birds were hatched in isolation to see how much knowledge, if any, they were born with.  It was found ‘all of them’ knew the songs that were unique to their species, and amazingly, the variations ‘specific’ to the section of the field they were taken from.  After reading this it made me wonder…  If the birds can be born with a song, why can’t we?

But in spite of ‘everything’ he’s shown me, the concept of ‘reincarnation’ is such a fundamental shift in my view on existence I’m struggling to come to terms with it.  I’ve never agreed with ‘any faiths’ belief they are right and everyone else is wrong, and even armed with the knowledge that ‘I myself’ have been subjected to years of religious indoctrination, it’s still a battle for me to accept anything that conflicts or questions the ‘faith’ I was born into  The ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality is very hard to lose once it’s taken root…  My questioning of this makes me question ‘everything’ that happening, even my own sanity.  The big problem here is it all feels ‘so damn real’.  I take ‘another’ deep breath before continuing… “Ok…”

“How is it possible after being shown the ‘truth’ of the suffering you have caused others to be so untouched and unconcerned?”

I ask… “What happens to make people like this?”

“Extreme emotion, be it positive or negative ‘needs to be experience’ to allow souls to define and develop themselves. Those who lack the skills or willingness to cultivate a positive life experience turn to the destructive power of extreme negative emotional experiences to satisfy this need.  Once this happens, the only way to justify the suffering ‘they’ inflict on others is by transferring the blame away from themselves.  The circle of lies is cold comfort, but comfort non the less.

“But ‘why’ must there be a witness to acts of evil?”

He finally stirs from his silence and replies “I am the one who bears witness.  I am the one who shows souls the truth of their decisions, and through these actions, I am the one who becomes the ‘final hope’ for those with ‘no hope’.  Their last chance for change.”

‘The ‘final’ hope for those with no hope’, I think I understand now but honestly  don’t know whether to feel admiration or pity for his sacrifice… “Do many change once they have seen the truth” I ask.

“The stronger the delusion, the less chance for change, the closer to Oblivion.”

‘But isn’t this a description of madness?”

“Acts of madness ‘no matter how grotesque’ are made innocently and without malice.  Acts of evil, justified and driven by ‘self delusion’ are made by rational, calculating intelligence.”

“And what of the search for “perfect harmony…”

…I ask, “Where can we find guidance if not from the scriptures?”

“Guidence comes from within and the search for perfect harmony begins with acceptance of the knowledge that ‘people’ and the beliefs they hold are imperfect.  Herein lies the answer to your question.  For the greater part of perfection in ‘oneself’ is the acceptance of imperfection in ‘others’.” He replies.

I can feel my anger and frustration slowly being drained away by Lucifer’s inescapable ‘ cold hard’ logic and don’t like it so decide to change the subject before he checkmates me. “So what do you want…

“What purpose do belief systems serve beyond their own?”

“They form the basis of ‘all’ civilisations with their message of harmony.  Even the most bloodthirsty societies still have social structures organised around belief systems that allow individual development, leading to greater levels of knowledge and development of the society as a whole.” he replies.

Maybe I’m just angry at all the trouble I see in the world created, and justified in the name of religion.  Maybe I’m still angry at my fathers priest.  I’m not sure, but for whatever reason I want to reject this in its entirety so ask “But why does it go… so wrong, so often!”

“The pitfall of ‘blind faith’ for those seeking guidance through the words of ‘scripture’, and ignoring their own ‘innate’ sense of right and wrong is in blinding themselves to the ‘inescapable fact’ that scripture is ‘always an interpretation’ of another’s words from a time long gone, and as such, its translation ‘must be questioned’ as to its relevance to oneself and to the society it is being applied to.  For as the light of knowledge illuminates the path ahead.  Religious ‘dogma’, although once acting as a guide, now only acts to darkens the path the further it moves away from its point of origin.

Daylight…

…is falling down through the trees in the most wondrous way, it looks, almost like water, gently flowing between the leaves… The birds are chattering away in the background and we are back on the hill overlooking the meadow.  It feels good to be somewhere, that at least, looks normal.  “So I’ve seen god, hell and I’m sat here talking to the devil.  Does this mean the Christians have got it right and theirs is the one ‘true’ god?”

“Your mind is translating everything you are experiencing into a something you understand and has meaning for you.  Interpretation of the knowledge gained through ‘enlightenment’ of ones place in creation is subject to the life experiences of the individual, and the society they are in.  This is why the core message of harmony within oneself and the outside world is the foundation of every religious or intellectualised belief system, but the actual method of achieving this harmony is specific to the internal, and external forces that influence each of the ‘enlightened’ ones.”

Ok, I can understand that, so carry on with “Was ‘enlightenment’ of the prophets the inspiration and driving force for the belief systems held by humanity?” I continue.

“It was the inspiration but not the driving force, for the motivation comes from within and is the reason for the experience of ‘enlightenment’.” is his reply.

I know it sounds ridiculous but my christian upbringing makes me ask “Were any of the prophets actually the sons or daughters of god?”

“We are ‘all’ the sons and daughters of god.” he replies.

Ok… I need to get another of my christian beliefs answered so ask…